New Year, New You

It's 2010! and for some odd reason us Americans have the tendency to enter the new year with this :New Year, New You attitude...so why don't we jump on the bandwagon?! But don't think you're here to find out how to eat better, nope, I'm sticking to my roots and giving you the Top 5 Ways to find Love this new year. This isn't the cure for cancer, but if your resolution is to be more open minded then I just may have a great way for you to do that AND find your valentine.

Way #1-Go on a Blind Date: I've never done it, have you? You spent all of 2009 complaining about being single; don't think millions of others didn't do the same. This year link up with someone that's just as nice and searching for love too. Ask your friends or even your siblings if they know of any cool men or women you can meet. If you ask reputable people that you trust then they shouldn't be giving you the digits to the Elephant Man.

Way #2-Find love online-We've seen the commercials and although we've all put our noses up in the air a time or two during them, who's to say that Mr. Right or Ms. Right isn't just a mouse click away. With sites specifically for interracial love, rich men, gold diggers, and beyond there should be someone out there for all of us...you'd think.

Way #3- Date a different Race-It's the year 2010 and if you're still not open to dating interracially well then that's your business but maybe you should try putting your opinions to the side and being more open minded. Don't you have friends with interracial parents? See it's not that bad after all.

Way #4-Be single! This is for those daters who found themselves always saying "me and..." in 2009. Take a break from being someone else's and just be your own. New year, new you remember so find out more things that make you happy. Maybe even help your friends that were single in '09 find love.

Way #5- Well why don't you tell me! What ideas have you brewed up to find love or even have a valentine?

Email me at ms.simpson01@yahoo.com and I'll make sure to post it on my site.

Are you Anti-Relationship? pt.2

Now, this very second is the season where a lot of babies are made. It's winter time which gives daters an excuse to find what we like to call, a "cuddle buddy." You know, find that one girl or guy that you can call at anytime but mostly when it's cold outside and you can snuggle with them in the nook. Although hundreds, maybe even thousands of you have either already found that snuggler or am currently looking for one, there is still that group of you that remains single no matter what season it is. Why? Why must you mere mortals remain by yourself at all times. Is there really that much work to be completed, or that many pounds to lose...or are you Anti-Relationship? Wonder why you continuously make excuses when explaining to your friends why you're single, check out these Top 5 reasons to tell.

#1 You're Afraid of Commitment: Does the word boyfriend or girlfriend scare the crap out of you? Do you tend to warn men or women that you just want to have fun; or no matter how great of a connection you have you're not looking for anything serious; then you're probably afraid of commitment. It's about time you realized that although there are cuter fish in the sea, maybe you should just focus on the one in front of you.

#2 You Put your Work First: When you start making more work then what's given, to take up your personal life or always use your work as an excuse to why you can't go out on that date then you may be anti-relationship. It's great to have career as your priority but once what happens when you want to share that promotion with someone.

#3 You Never Date: Are you the king or queen of just hanging out or hooking up? You spend your daytime hanging out with your friends but you have a list to choose from when the sun goes down. If your friends can't remember the last time you went out on a date but can remember the last time you got laid you may want to ask yourself why those booty calls aren't good enough for you to see during the day.

#4 You're Always the Heartbreaker: No more than one month goes by and it's time you call it quits with your current interest. You're starting to feel pressured to commit which scares you and causes for that unwanted text or phone call to end any hope that your partner had.

#5 You've Never been in a Relationship: If you're in your 20's and have yet to be in a relationship then there's a big chance you're anti-single. No matter if you're shy or even celibate, committing to one person is something you're just not in a rush to do. Can singles be happy if they're not in a relationship, of course. Coming from someone that is anti-relationship and proud of it, if you've realized that you're either afraid of relationships or committment isn't your best friend then you may want to reconsider it as you get older. Having that perfect career is great, but one day you'll probably want to share that happiness with someone besides your pets.

Are You Anti-Single? pt.1

We ALL have them so don't act like you don't. They call all the time, overly dramatic and sometimes depressed. No I'm not talking about your parents; I'm talking about that one girl or guy that HATES being single. You know who I'm talking about. They're so wrapped up in being depressed because they're alone when they really need to realize that they're one of the coolest 20 somethings in the world and their enchanted love will come when it's, well "their time." So did someone pop into your head or are you still putting your friends on this non-existent pedestal thinking they aren't like that when in fact they are...or maybe it's YOU. Well let me help you figure this one out as I give you 5 tips to let you know if your friend or in fact YOU are anti-single.

#1. They NEVER want to have just a girls/guys night out-Friday and Saturday night used to be the perfect time to put on your most stylish duds and strut your stuff to that dive bar or happening club. Well as time passes and the young are no longer impressed with gadgets and such, it seems there is no specific night to party because some (well a lot) are heading out not only Friday and Saturday, but also Tuesday, Thursday and sometimes Sunday. No matter what night it is that friend never wants to just hang with the girls or the guys, rather they get extra dolled up or do 10 more push-ups hoping and wishing to meet Prince Charming or Ms. Right. For some reason they haven't learned that a healthy relationship won't be found in a club. Meanwhile you're trying to have a great time with your friends while they want to whisper about every babe that they're too afraid to approach.

#2 They search to find love on MySpace or Facebook-Come on, let's leave the online dating to the old folks. More and more singles are starting to turn to social networking sites in search for their new cuddle buddy; when all they end up finding is that one person with the perfect face shot... but huge body. Then they cry to you when the relationship ends 2 months later. Why shouldn't you have known they were dating other people...you did meet ONLINE

#3 They always want you to set them up- Sorry but some people actually don't mind being single. And if you're single there's a good chance you won't have some great guy or girl to set your friend up with because if you did you would probably be dating them...right?

#4 They're starting to hang out with couples-Is your friend bailing out on you more and more to hang out with Jeff and Carrie? Ya know, because maybe they'll have some great friend they can hook them up with. It's nothing cool about being a clueless 3rd wheel and that's what your friend is going to become if you don't WAKE THEM UP!!

#5 They're NEVER single!- okay give or take that week or 2 weeks MAX they spend bad mouthing their ex to everyone until they're back spending every second of their lives with that new main squeeze. It starts getting annoying when your friend has to ask their lover if they have plans before they can tell you, their lifelong friend if you can watch a movie or go out that night. What really sucks is when they are single and they belly ache over being single! Ya know, updating their profile with "it's complicated" babble knowing they're the only one being complicated. Or always pleading to the world about how they can't find that perfect one. Well maybe if you just enjoy your life and let God (he's my homeboy) take over, maybe that enchanted love will arrive ya know...when it's "their time."

So have you remembered that friend or is it YOU? If it's you then go to your nearest mirror and yell: "I don't want to be anti-single anymore!" And if it's your friend then maybe you should tell them how cool they are and that Mr. or Mrs. Right is out there but of course they won't meet them when they're actually looking...you know how that goes.

Tell ME about your anti-single friend or self or ask advice in an email: ms.simpson01@yahoo.com

DATING: From the MALE Point of View

So a few days ago I received this note in my inbox. Apparently one of my male readers wanted to share this information with the ladies, hence the name "Adam Mier" or shall we call him "Admirer." Alright ladies, check this out. It's dating...from the male point of view. Do you agree with his thoughts? Fellahs, do you really feel this way about women?

Let's check this out:

Often times the man you're seeing isn't quite what you expected. The flame has died considerably since you met him or the relationship has just changed. But instead of dealing with the issues, some women find themselves making excuses rather than finding solutions.

Sometimes the best solution is to move on. Staying in a stagnant relationship is never the answer, and women who do this often end up getting anchored down with dead weight. You know the type – and if you don’t, the rest of this post will hopefully help. But let's face it, some men are idiots. If a particular chap can’t get his crap together and see you as the treasure you are, drop him. It's that simple. So many women spend too much time trying to make their current catch work that they don't realize all the potential catches right in front of them. To help navigate through these murky waters here are some quick tips to determine if he's a keeper or if it’s time for the dumpster:

1.Does he call/txt?If not, then why waste time. On average a keeper should at least try to respond to the texts you send him. Lets face it ladies, on the norm you text us twice as much as we text you, but that doesn't mean he can use that as an excuse. He should text you anywhere between 2-3 times a day. But just because he does text you does NOT mean he shouldn't pick up the phone and dial your number. He should call you and have a meaningful conversation with you at the very least once a day. Sometimes either you or him may forget to call or text. That's life; accept it. Sometimes life gets the better of us, but if he is continually hitting the ignore button then it’s time for you to find someone who will accept on a regular basis.

2. Does he constantly make and break plans with you? If so it's time for the eject button! Im not going to beat around this subject. Canceling numerous plans in unwarranted times is just plain unacceptable. He obviously doesn't take you or the relationship seriously. So it's time to eject his sorry ass and find someone who can't wait to spend another moment without you.

3. Does he expect you to pay?For the most part I'm a firm believer that men should at least try to front the funds for dates, ect. Mind you this isn’t always the case but should be taken into consideration. In olden days men would have to leave offerings to potential mates, thereby showing his affection and desire. Men would shower ladies with flowers, wine, food and gifts. Today it's a whole different ballgame; it's called a date. As an example he should at least pay for dinner and a movie. But let's say he then plans on taking you for dessert after the movie. Now this is where you can strengthen your relationship. When he goes to pay for it say " I got it." That simple. The poor guy just spent his paycheck taking you out the least you could do is get dessert. By doing this he realizes that he isn't alone and his face will light up with the smile you're surely falling for. Not to mention you’re well on your way to having a great relationship.

4. Is he invested in the relationship?If he isn't trying to put at least as much into the relationship as you are, then what’s the point? If you’re the one doing all the work then there is no point in trying to keep this thing you're calling “a relationship” going. Relationships are work. Both parties have to be fully invested, otherwise fights and general unhappiness will follow. Take time to assess the situation, and if this is the first time you’re noticing it occurring then take the time to talk to him. If he isn't willing to at least hear you out then dump him and don't look back!

5. How often does he compliment you?This is so important. If he can’t express himself by giving you generous compliments, or if you find yourself giving all the compliments then the relationship has no expression and is headed for rocky territory. Communication is key. This step is one that can always be worked on, but it shouldn’t become a burden. The day you have to remind him that you’re gorgeous is the day you should look elsewhere!And as a final note: I hope this doesn’t pertain to anyone reading this, but just in case …

6. Does he abuse you? If you fear him then the relationship is no longer a relationship and is done. If he is abusive then please take the proper measures to get control back in your life. Abuse is unacceptable, and I find it sad that so many women lose themselves to it. If it is physical abuse, contact the proper authorities. I understand tempers flare at times, but that does not mean you have to become the whipping post. Please do yourself a favor and ensure you are safe both physically and mentally.

So many women settle and think, “Maybe this is the best I can get.” I promise you can get more, and frankly you deserve more. Don't be afraid to go out and find it. You’re an attractive independent women. A great relationship starts by you loving yourself, and great things are sure to follow.

With Love-

~ Adam Mier ~

Top 10 Texts You Should NOT Send!!

So I've made it apparent that texting is taking over our lives. Not some, but all, and there is nothing wrong with that...unless you make it a habit of confessing your sins and most important details through a text. Let's face it, although writing is my passion there a few things that will never be typed as a text message and I hope you feel the same. Now because I love all my readers I've decided to let you in on some cool information before you ruin a great relationship or friendship. With that said, here is my Top 10 list of things we should NOT text to each other...no matter what!

#1 I'm pregnant

#2 It's you, not me

#3 I'm busy during the day but we can chill at night

#4 By the time you come home I'll be gone

#5 I just got my test results back...I have -insert herpes

#6 I'm taking a dump

#7 I lost my job

#8 You're gonna be a dad

#9 I just realized I forgot to take my birth control

#10 Will you marry me?

#12I've had better

#13 Hey John I had a great time last night..oops I meant Chris

#14-I think we should see other people<--thanks J.D

#15-Do you just want to be friends?<--thanks Kris with A

Okay so I got carried away with more than 10 texts. Think your list is better than mine? Well email me your ideas at ms.simpson01@yahoo.com and maybe they'll make this blog!

REPOST: Can Exes be Friends?

Now I am known by my friends as being one of the biggest optimists around. Failure nor depression is never an option. If you fall down then dust yourself and try again..you get the picture. But I am human, and being human means you go through experiences. Well a couple experiences have made me second guess my optimisim, when it comes to friendships; friendships with exes to be exact.

I'm not one for drama; in fact I've been told that I can act like a guy. Meaning, I don't like to argue, and if we do bicker, then let's talk it out and move on with our lives. With that said, most of my relationships (not datingships) have turned into friendships, great frienships for that matter.I've been seperated from my first ex for four years now. We had a cool relationship. He was the one who introduced me to Pharrell Williams. I talked to him a few days ago. Here comes the but, he's in love with me.

He sees me as the girl that got away.Since he's confessed his feelings he calls and texts a little more than usual. Which is no problem, since I do enjoy our relationship, but lately he mentions that he misses me and thinks about me a lot. What girl doesn't dream about getting back with an ex-boyfriend (one that you loved) and living the fairy tale life. Well this tale ain't happening because he has a girlfriend..and 2 kids! Tell me about it.

For the past four years, we've grown pretty close, so its hard for me to view him as a douchebag, because he's telling me he misses me but lives with his girlfriend; but its also getting hard to talk to him as just a friend. Don't get it twisted, I don't have feelings for him but if you've ever had a crush on a friend, or a friend had a crush on you, then you know the relationship can get difficult when you're not seeing eye to eye.
That's only half my story. My recent ex who I was with for almost three years, has become a good friend to me as well. Ever since he got a girlfriend, we don't talk as much. We used to chat for hours until 3am, AS FRIENDS. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect that to happen since he has a girl...I guess. But I still see him as a friend, I just kinda wonder if he sees me as anything since we haven't talked since February.
So can exes just be friends, of course! Come on, I'm an optimist. But if they're still in love with you, or has moved on to another lover, chances are, that friendship will be quite thin.

If you want to ask me a question or guest blog email me at: ms.simpson01@yahoo.com

TextiNg & Sexting...Take 2!

Can you remember the last time you picked up your phone and called someone? Or have you fallen into the craze of texting like myself. Whether you're busy at work or just at home sitting on your ass, for some reason people have chosen to let 26 letters inform people of what they're doing, why they won't be attending something, or even how they feel about you.
I think I have over 4,000 sent text messages and that's in a matter of a couple of weeks. As I continue living day to day in this thing I like to call life, I'm starting to notice that texting isn't only taking over my life, but tons of others as well.

I was chatting with my girlfriend last night, she told me about the new, wonderful guy she's been dating and how they talk all the time. A couple weeks ago she was on her way from LA to Vegas and she talked to him the entire way there...through texting. And the entire way back...through texting.
Are you a victim of a constant texting lifestyle? Has it gotten to a point where you meet someone but forget how they sound because you text so much?

The single and horny are becoming too busy for phone sex and trying sexting. How does one swap the sound of someone's sensual voice during phone sex to texting sexy messages? Don't you use two hands to text?!
Texting is taking over. It's controlling relationships, hell I was dumped in a text message! People schedule dates, have sex, take interviews all thru the magic of texting.
So what's next? Can anything replace texting? Will we ever pick up the phone and dial a number again? Or will we continue allowing the punch of letter after letter control our lives?

You tell me...