--Under Construction--

Hey my lovely readers!

I want to apologize for my lack of communication. I have gone into hiding for the last 2 months. I'm slowly peeking my head out and finding the light. You can have my word that this single girl in San Diego will be back and vibrant!

I'd love to find out what you have all been up to and if you have any sassy or lame dating stories. Sooo...what's the 411?!

Want to ask me a question? Send me an email: ms.simpson01@yahoo.com

Can A Relationship Exist...Without Drama?

I hate you!!...Well I hate you more!!...We're sooo done!!..Fine by ME!. Ten minutes pass...I'm sorry baby...I'm sorry too. Pick you up tommorrow?...Okay, bye

Is that how your relationship is? Dramatic. Ya know, there are a lot of rumors going around that women cause a lot of drama when dating a man. But truth be told, men are quite dramatic themselves, if not more. Let's see we have confidence, which some men lack especially if the woman has attractive male friends or an occupation that requires her to be surrounded by men. Which of course brings on jealousy, negative assumptions, insecurity and so many other characteristics that cause a breakup. Before you get upset men, yes it's true, women can be the same way also. Knowing you are the way you are when in a relationship (that make sense) can a relationship with you exist...without drama?

Why did things end with your last boyfriend or girlfriend? Was it because they cheated or did the two of you argue too much? And what's the difference between your relationship before that and your relationship now? Sound confusing, well it might be. If you know you're one for the drama, or you're the type of person where drama just happens to find you, can you answer the question Why does it? And when will it stop? Because it's quite sad but there are actually people out there who can't be in a relationship without drama existing.

If you find yourself, or worse, your exes find that you always have to knit pick, whine or ask too many questions then maybe now is the time where you should put yourself in the backseat and ask "why am I still single," or "why are my relationships always ending."

There is a big difference between a good and bad relationship. Specifically a good relationship is when you can be friends with your ex after. Even if you don't want to be because your feelings are still active, if your ex makes it clear that they want a friendship obviously you did something right. But if you curse each other out everytime you pass directions...DRAMA.

You may be searching for answers on how you can take the drama out of your relationship or not bring it into your future relationship, but that is something you have to find within yourself. But of couse I'll offer a few tips.

Tip #1: If you found that assuming the worst didn't help in your last relationship, it probably won't help in your next one. Okay, they called late or never called when they say they would, it doesn't mean they were having sex with your enemy or sexting their neighbor. Asking yourself questions that only your boyfriend or girlfriend can answer is a waste of your life because the only answers you'll give yourself are negative ones.

Tip #2 Just because your ex cheated on you doesn't mean the next person will. Don't walk into a new relationship thinking you have to be Sherlock Holmes, because your love interest does not want to feel bombarded with "where were you" questions when you know they just went to grab dinner.

Tip #3 Have confidence and be secure with yourself. This is the best tip of them all because if you have confidence within yourself from the start, then you'll find someone with just as much pride in themselves. They say you are who you hang out with, so if you're drama then you'll find someone whose drama. Think about it.

So, can a relationship exist without drama? Of course, but the work first starts within yourself. Don't you agree?

Have a dating/relationship question you'd like me to answer? Email me ms.simpson01@yahoo.com

Why Buy the Cow, When You Can Get the Milk for Free

You wake up together, go to the finest restuarants, hang out with each other's friends, you even know their family members, yet you're not committed. Sure you have the title of boyfriend and girlfriend but what does that even mean? Beyonce says, "if you like it then you should've put a ring on it," and you know what...she's right. How long will we continue living in sin? Whether it's your boyfriend that loves you but just isn't ready to be anybodies husband, not even the woman he loves, how much longer will you continue splitting the rent, running their bathwater and giving up your goods and for what, the possibility of being proposed to some time in the long run? Like my mother told me: why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?

You've been together so long that your nights out aren't even considered a date anymore, rather "let's check out this hot new restaurant babe." Sure it's still exciting to get dressed up and show your main squeeze off to the world but what if they aren't sure you're the one they want to show off forever. You know they're the so called "one," so how much time are you willing to spend before you throw in the towel and find someone that's sure of their feelings? One year, 6 months, maybe 2 years? Lets remember that's two years of your life spent with a man or woman that you'd walk down the aisle with wearing yesterday's outfit...but their wedding attire isn't even in season yet.

Yes, we all know how hard it is to find that perfect man and woman, but if you're seriously living in a world where you think they exist then you have even more problems then you think. So ask yourself, are you giving your milk away for free? Living your life on a chance that your current love will one day get down on that bended knee and ask you for your hand in marriage, or won't vomit when she accidentally finds her engagement ring. When in a relationship, what is your worth? You feel that forever spark but they're not there yet. What's the difference between now and next year if they already love you? Is it time for you to readjust your relationship? Maybe break that bond open and see other people until their mind is made up, or maybe seeing you with someone else will make their mind up soon enough. If you're dating someone and they're ready to take the next step, say move in together although they're not sure you're "the one" for them, repeat this to yourself and then ask that man or woman: "why buy the cow, if I'm going to give you the milk for free?"

Don't make the mistake of spending years with someone that isn't sure of your future together. That only equals years or months of your love lost...and who wants that?

Have a question you'd like me to answer personally?

email: ms.simpson01@yahoo.com

The Uglier, The Better?

Helpful Fact: dating when you're attractive is harder than dating when you're not. Yes, you read it right. Have you ever taken the time to think that it's possible for the "pretty people" in this world to have a hard time finding that special someone? It's true, the better looking you are, the harder it is to find your soulmate. Let me tell you why.

First off, everyone wants to date you. It's hard to enjoy a girl's night out or even enjoy a great book in your favorite corner at Barnes & Noble because someone wants to introduce themselves to you. What makes it worse is that you don't know if they're being genuine and want to really get to know you, or do they just want to be seen holding hands with the prettiest girl or hottest guy.

And what's worse than meeting a total creeper? These days making a great first impression isn't hard. Women are emotional and a man with the right moves and words can take advantage of their vulnerability, coming off as prince charming, until that charming prince starts calling at 3am asking what you're up to. The cell phone of an attractive single is constantly ringing with a slew of daters wanting to wine and dine them. More time has to be spent choosing which guy or girl is right for you compared to a less attractive dater that normally only has 1 or 2 numbers to call...if that.

Good looking singles' have to keep a guard up to make sure they aren't being used as just another notch on someone's bed post. Of course someone less attractive enters a potential relationship with their guard totally down because who knows when they'll have another person interested in dating them.

It may seem mean, but this is reality. When you're attractive and single you're constantly bombarded with people wanting to take you out or a man that promises he only wants to be your friend. What's funny is, even when you decide to commit to someone it still doesn't stop people from hitting on you. Men AND women find that people in relationships are not off limit unless they have a ring on their finger; and sometimes that doesn't even stop them from pursuing.

If attractive singles don't have a harder time finding love, why are most clubs filled with pretty people? Depending on where you live, you won't ever walk into a location where socializing takes place, and find a room filled with the less attractive. Why? because they're at home cuddled up with the first person that hit on them.

It's a hard life for attractive singles...don't you think?

New Year, New You

It's 2010! and for some odd reason us Americans have the tendency to enter the new year with this :New Year, New You attitude...so why don't we jump on the bandwagon?! But don't think you're here to find out how to eat better, nope, I'm sticking to my roots and giving you the Top 5 Ways to find Love this new year. This isn't the cure for cancer, but if your resolution is to be more open minded then I just may have a great way for you to do that AND find your valentine.

Way #1-Go on a Blind Date: I've never done it, have you? You spent all of 2009 complaining about being single; don't think millions of others didn't do the same. This year link up with someone that's just as nice and searching for love too. Ask your friends or even your siblings if they know of any cool men or women you can meet. If you ask reputable people that you trust then they shouldn't be giving you the digits to the Elephant Man.

Way #2-Find love online-We've seen the commercials and although we've all put our noses up in the air a time or two during them, who's to say that Mr. Right or Ms. Right isn't just a mouse click away. With sites specifically for interracial love, rich men, gold diggers, and beyond there should be someone out there for all of us...you'd think.

Way #3- Date a different Race-It's the year 2010 and if you're still not open to dating interracially well then that's your business but maybe you should try putting your opinions to the side and being more open minded. Don't you have friends with interracial parents? See it's not that bad after all.

Way #4-Be single! This is for those daters who found themselves always saying "me and..." in 2009. Take a break from being someone else's and just be your own. New year, new you remember so find out more things that make you happy. Maybe even help your friends that were single in '09 find love.

Way #5- Well why don't you tell me! What ideas have you brewed up to find love or even have a valentine?

Email me at ms.simpson01@yahoo.com and I'll make sure to post it on my site.

Are you Anti-Relationship? pt.2

Now, this very second is the season where a lot of babies are made. It's winter time which gives daters an excuse to find what we like to call, a "cuddle buddy." You know, find that one girl or guy that you can call at anytime but mostly when it's cold outside and you can snuggle with them in the nook. Although hundreds, maybe even thousands of you have either already found that snuggler or am currently looking for one, there is still that group of you that remains single no matter what season it is. Why? Why must you mere mortals remain by yourself at all times. Is there really that much work to be completed, or that many pounds to lose...or are you Anti-Relationship? Wonder why you continuously make excuses when explaining to your friends why you're single, check out these Top 5 reasons to tell.

#1 You're Afraid of Commitment: Does the word boyfriend or girlfriend scare the crap out of you? Do you tend to warn men or women that you just want to have fun; or no matter how great of a connection you have you're not looking for anything serious; then you're probably afraid of commitment. It's about time you realized that although there are cuter fish in the sea, maybe you should just focus on the one in front of you.

#2 You Put your Work First: When you start making more work then what's given, to take up your personal life or always use your work as an excuse to why you can't go out on that date then you may be anti-relationship. It's great to have career as your priority but once what happens when you want to share that promotion with someone.

#3 You Never Date: Are you the king or queen of just hanging out or hooking up? You spend your daytime hanging out with your friends but you have a list to choose from when the sun goes down. If your friends can't remember the last time you went out on a date but can remember the last time you got laid you may want to ask yourself why those booty calls aren't good enough for you to see during the day.

#4 You're Always the Heartbreaker: No more than one month goes by and it's time you call it quits with your current interest. You're starting to feel pressured to commit which scares you and causes for that unwanted text or phone call to end any hope that your partner had.

#5 You've Never been in a Relationship: If you're in your 20's and have yet to be in a relationship then there's a big chance you're anti-single. No matter if you're shy or even celibate, committing to one person is something you're just not in a rush to do. Can singles be happy if they're not in a relationship, of course. Coming from someone that is anti-relationship and proud of it, if you've realized that you're either afraid of relationships or committment isn't your best friend then you may want to reconsider it as you get older. Having that perfect career is great, but one day you'll probably want to share that happiness with someone besides your pets.

Are You Anti-Single? pt.1

We ALL have them so don't act like you don't. They call all the time, overly dramatic and sometimes depressed. No I'm not talking about your parents; I'm talking about that one girl or guy that HATES being single. You know who I'm talking about. They're so wrapped up in being depressed because they're alone when they really need to realize that they're one of the coolest 20 somethings in the world and their enchanted love will come when it's, well "their time." So did someone pop into your head or are you still putting your friends on this non-existent pedestal thinking they aren't like that when in fact they are...or maybe it's YOU. Well let me help you figure this one out as I give you 5 tips to let you know if your friend or in fact YOU are anti-single.

#1. They NEVER want to have just a girls/guys night out-Friday and Saturday night used to be the perfect time to put on your most stylish duds and strut your stuff to that dive bar or happening club. Well as time passes and the young are no longer impressed with gadgets and such, it seems there is no specific night to party because some (well a lot) are heading out not only Friday and Saturday, but also Tuesday, Thursday and sometimes Sunday. No matter what night it is that friend never wants to just hang with the girls or the guys, rather they get extra dolled up or do 10 more push-ups hoping and wishing to meet Prince Charming or Ms. Right. For some reason they haven't learned that a healthy relationship won't be found in a club. Meanwhile you're trying to have a great time with your friends while they want to whisper about every babe that they're too afraid to approach.

#2 They search to find love on MySpace or Facebook-Come on, let's leave the online dating to the old folks. More and more singles are starting to turn to social networking sites in search for their new cuddle buddy; when all they end up finding is that one person with the perfect face shot... but huge body. Then they cry to you when the relationship ends 2 months later. Why shouldn't you have known they were dating other people...you did meet ONLINE

#3 They always want you to set them up- Sorry but some people actually don't mind being single. And if you're single there's a good chance you won't have some great guy or girl to set your friend up with because if you did you would probably be dating them...right?

#4 They're starting to hang out with couples-Is your friend bailing out on you more and more to hang out with Jeff and Carrie? Ya know, because maybe they'll have some great friend they can hook them up with. It's nothing cool about being a clueless 3rd wheel and that's what your friend is going to become if you don't WAKE THEM UP!!

#5 They're NEVER single!- okay give or take that week or 2 weeks MAX they spend bad mouthing their ex to everyone until they're back spending every second of their lives with that new main squeeze. It starts getting annoying when your friend has to ask their lover if they have plans before they can tell you, their lifelong friend if you can watch a movie or go out that night. What really sucks is when they are single and they belly ache over being single! Ya know, updating their profile with "it's complicated" babble knowing they're the only one being complicated. Or always pleading to the world about how they can't find that perfect one. Well maybe if you just enjoy your life and let God (he's my homeboy) take over, maybe that enchanted love will arrive ya know...when it's "their time."

So have you remembered that friend or is it YOU? If it's you then go to your nearest mirror and yell: "I don't want to be anti-single anymore!" And if it's your friend then maybe you should tell them how cool they are and that Mr. or Mrs. Right is out there but of course they won't meet them when they're actually looking...you know how that goes.

Tell ME about your anti-single friend or self or ask advice in an email: ms.simpson01@yahoo.com